Each framework card contains:
Don’t treat these as a script to follow rigidly, just follow the conversation wherever it goes. It doesn’t matter if the conversation meanders (or takes a sharp right turn) away from the original question, it’s about fostering connection, thinking skills and creativity (and so much more in those little brains) not an interview.
Some prompts will land. Some will get you a shrug and a “dunno.” That’s fine, not every prompt will work for every kid, every time, every day. Ask again another day or try a different one.
The research says aiming for five serve and returns is the gold standard but three is great and one works too. Between the main prompt, the follow ups and the tips, and whatever out of pocket responses you get, you’ll be in good stead to aim for five. But, don’t stress if you don’t get there.
These bands are a guide, not a rulebook. Every child develops in their own time, so if a prompt from one band gets a blank face in response, grab one from the band above or below. You know your child better than an age label.
A conversation at this age may only last two or three turns, or even just one to two, and that’s absolutely fine. Don’t get hung up on verbal exchanges, a point or gesture, a sound, an echoed word and even just eye contact or nod count as “an answer”. Keep it short, concrete and often related to something they can see or touch.
Kids this age can usually hold a proper back-and-forth for three or four turns, and they’re starting to love a bit of pretend and “what if.” Expect answers that wander into imagination, and follow them there rather than steering back to the original question.
By now, a conversation can run up to five turns or more, with real opinions, comparisons, and reasoning behind the answers. These prompts can go a bit more abstract or reflective, so give them room to think (remember, wait at least 5 seconds and even up to 30 seconds) before jumping in with your own take.
You don’t need to talk more (phew, one less thing to do!), you just need to talk differently.
The research is in and here’s what it says: conversation isn’t just a nice to do, it literally helps build little brains. Every back and forth exchange or what researchers at Harvard’s Centre on the Developing Child call “serve and return”1, actually physically shapes a developing brain’s architecture for thinking, language and emotional regulation. Your child serves a word, a look, a gesture, a question and you return it. The point isn’t to get the “right answer” but to open up a back and forth exchange because that’s where the building happens. Back and forth. Back and forth. Every conversation you have with your child literally builds their brain.
A meta-analysis of 52 studies found that the quality of parent-child conversation predicts early language development more strongly than sheer quantity of words heard.2 Five back and forths beat twenty minutes of you narrating cooking dinner. Again. Whilst nobody listens. Again. And the bowl of pasta you spent the aforementioned 20 minutes on gets rejected. Again.
Closer to home, research from Adelaide University suggests the average Australian three-year-old may be losing over 1,100 words and nearly 200 conversational turns a day to screen time.3
These sound like scary stats but none of it means you need to completely cut out screens or overhaul your whole daily routine. With a few tweaks, tips and tricks it’s possible (and pretty easy!) to start having great conversations with your child, even in the ordinary moments.
The conversations you have now, in the car, in the bath, at dinnertime, on the walk to school, are laying down pathways your child will use for the rest of their life. You don’t need more time. You need a better next question.
This interactive digital edition gives you 40 of them.
Every conversation builds a brain.
Wundlings is a set of research-backed conversation frameworks for parents of kids aged 2 to 8. A main prompt to kick things off, a few ways to keep it going, and a tip for when the conversation stalls (because it will).
Everything is built on the same research behind Harvard’s serve-and-return work and Australian studies on conversational turns: that how you talk to your child and the quality of a conversation matters more than how long it lasts or how many words are in it.
Everything in this interactive digital edition has been developed using real scientific and academic research, and is shaped by a parent living the problem it solves.
If this is useful, this is just a small selection, there’s more coming. Wundlings is building toward a full app in 2027, with a much bigger library of frameworks and input by early childhood development and learning experts.
I’m Pippa, mum to a three-and-a-half-year-old, whom I think is the most hilarious, interesting, weird-in-a-good-way small person in the world (much like I think you think the same about your small people).
Before my daughter even started properly talking, I wanted to have conversations with her. I wanted to know who she was, how she thinks, and what was going on inside that tiny head. But, I kept hitting a wall: between “how was your day at daycare?” and “do you want a snack?” we were getting nowhere.
I had a sense that there was definitely more going on under the hood and that I was just going about it the wrong way. And, I was right in thinking I was wrong. I was asking closed questions (“did you have a good day?”), not leaving enough space or time for her to actually answer, and generally treating her like a small, uncooperative adult rather than a preschooler with a completely different relationship to language and time.
I started Googling things like “is it possible to have a conversation with a toddler?” and “how to talk to a three year old”. Amongst the hundreds of blogs and random Facebook posts of “10 questions to ask your kid tonight” I kept finding research talking about how important conversation is and specifically the serve and return exchanges (times 5 if you’re going for a gold star) but what I couldn’t find was an easy-to-use, research-backed tool to actually help facilitate those conversations.
So, I started building it myself. First the PDFs, now this interactive digital edition, next Wundlings the app.